


I see you

by Taliesin_niseilaT



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Romance, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 12:44:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11290995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taliesin_niseilaT/pseuds/Taliesin_niseilaT
Summary: When Barry gets hurt, Julian is there, as ever, though he’s a bit more opinionated than Barry might like. Still, every cloud has a silver lining.For the prompt: After Barry risks his life on a mission yet again, Julian tries to explain to him that his martyr complex isn't good for himself, the team, or the city...though it ultimately turns into a messy confession.





	I see you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FoxVII](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxVII/gifts).



> Written for the 2017 DCCW Rarepair Swap. Prompt by xFoxVII - I hope you like what I did with it!

_i see you_

 

Julian sits in the hospital bay all night. He tries to work for a while. He reads until his vision blurs. He dozes off for a bit. But mostly he just sits there, stony-faced, and waits for Barry to heal enough to wake up. He pretends not to notice the identical pitying looks Joe and Iris throw him when they come to tell him goodnight. It’s nearly dawn when Julian falls asleep at last.

 

When Barry finally wakes up early the next morning, Julian feels relieved for all of a minute before his anger kicks in. ‘What the fuck is _wrong_ with you, Allen?’ he snaps even as he hands Barry a glass of water and an industrial strength painkiller. ‘Julian,’ Barry croaks, ‘what happened?’

‘What happened? I’ll tell you what _happened,_ Allen. You rushed in head first, like you always do, and the meta attacked you, like they always do. Only Rose Shaley’s quite the quick hand with her telekinesis, so before you know it, Wally’s dragging you in here, unconscious and with a chunk of metal in your gut. And because the only doctor on this team is off somewhere gallivanting with Savitar, _I_ have to pull it out of you and stitch you up.’

 

Julian pauses for breath and Barry smiles up at him. ‘You saved my life,’ he says softly.

‘Yeah, well, one day I won’t be able to, okay? Just like I couldn’t save Caitlin’s, not the way she wanted. You need to stop risking your life without a second thought, for god’s sake!’

‘Isn’t that what heroes do?’ Barry says, taken aback at Julian’s anger.

‘Die in a meaningless fight with a third-rate meta? No, _Barry._ That’s not what heroes do. That’s what a martyr does.’

‘But –’ Barry sits up a little straighter.

‘So is that what you want to be? A martyr? Live fast, die young, then get a statue in the market square and _Barry Allen – idiot_ as your epitaph?’

‘Julian, don’t you think you’re overreacting –’

 

Julian goes suspiciously, dangerously quiet, staring daggers at Barry, who nervously fidgets with the corner of his bedsheet. ‘Overreacting?’ Julian repeats slowly. ‘You take it for granted that no matter how badly you screw up, I’m gonna be here to play doctor and nurse, that I’ll pull you out of the fire come hell or high water, and you say I’m overreacting?!’

‘Okay, no, I get it, I’m sorry,’ Barry says hastily, ‘I’m just trying to save people, you know that.’

‘Yeah,’ Julian says sadly, ‘and how are you going to do that if you end up dead?’ Neither of them says anything for a moment, Julian twirling a pen between his fingers and Barry still smoothing his sheets.

‘Just – don’t do this to me, okay? Don’t make me watch you die.’ Julian’s voice cracks on the last word and Barry rushes to comfort him. ‘Julian, I’m not going to die, I heal fast, remember? I’m going to be perfectly fine and you can go back to not talking to me.’

‘What? I... I talk to you.’

‘You snipe at me,’ Barry states, ‘That’s not the same thing.’

Julian shakes his head sadly. ‘You just don’t get it, do you? How much you mean to –’ He cuts himself off abruptly, gets up and walks out without another word.

 

Julian returns to the hospital bay half an hour later with a tray of breakfast for Barry, setting it on his lap without further comment and turning to leave again.

‘Julian, wait.’

Julian sighs. ‘What, Barry?’

‘Sit with me. Eat something. You were here all night, you look like you could use it.’

Barry’s green eyes are shining and, well. Resignedly, Julian snatches up a slice of toast and spreads marmalade on it. They eat in peace for a few minutes, until Barry has to go and break the silence.

‘You know what I hate?’ he says without prompting, ‘When people don’t finish their sentences. I just keep thinking about it, wondering what they were going to say.’

‘Sometimes, there are good reasons for sentences to go unfinished.’

‘I suppose that’s true,’ Barry says, distractedly staring into the distance.

 

Julian stays. He rebuffs Barry’s attempts to get him to go home and sleep (‘I’m _fine,_ Allen, you just worry about yourself.’), keeps an eye on his vitals and once he believes he’s hammered his point home (‘I swear, Julian, if you mention my _martyr complex_ one more time, I’ll punch you.’), he fetches a small chess set Cisco found in S.T.A.R. labs’ old break room. The pieces are a bit chipped around the edges and Barry’s adamant about playing white. He can think his way through two dozen different outcomes in half a second, so Barry’s pretty used to winning at chess. Julian gives him a run for his money, though. They’re still playing two hours later, their third game now, neither of them willing to admit defeat.

 

‘The others should be getting here soon, right?’ Barry says, capturing Julian’s knight with his rook. ‘Shit,’ Julian mutters, then, ‘Yes, it’s nearly lunchtime, so I suppose Cisco and HR will be on their way. I texted everyone about you earlier. Check.’ Barry glares at the bishop Julian just moved and reluctantly takes his king out of the way.

‘Before the room gets crowded,’ Barry says, looking at Julian instead of at the chessboard, ‘What were you going to say this morning?’

‘I don’t know what you mean, Barry.’

‘Yes you do,’ Barry insists, ‘You said I don’t get how much I mean to...’

‘To me, okay? You don’t get how much you mean to me. Happy now?’

‘Julian, that’s –’

‘You don’t have to say anything,’ Julian says, almost angrily, ‘I know that if you were into me, you would’ve done something about it by now.’

To his own surprise, Barry reaches out and takes Julian’s hand, prying his fingers open to release the queen he was apparently trying to crush. The piece clatters onto the board, completely forgotten when Barry reaches up to kiss Julian.

 

Julian responds to the kiss with such fervour that he knocks the chessboard off the bed, sending it tumbling to the floor, the pieces scattering all over the hospital bay. They break apart and laugh. ‘Barry...’ Julian breathes softly. Barry squeezes the hand he’s still holding. ‘Didn’t see that one coming, huh?’

‘No. I was pretty sure you weren’t interested,’ Julian admits. Barry shows off his brightest smile and says, ‘Go out with me sometime?’

‘As soon as you’re better,’ Julian promises without hesitation. Barry nods. ‘Okay.’

 

Barry pulls on Julian’s hand again, so he carefully climbs up onto the hospital bed and draws Barry in close. They kiss deeply this time, breathing little whimpers into each other’s mouth, and soon Julian moves to roll on top of Barry, who gladly accommodates him. Their hands tangle in hair and sheets and clothes, frantically exploring each other. Barry makes quick work of Julian’s shirt buttons, his long fingers tracing patterns on his chest. Julian tries to pull Barry’s pyjama top off, but accidentally knocks his hand against the wound on Barry’s abdomen. Barry winces painfully and Julian jerks his arm away. ‘Shit, I’m sorry, Barry, are you okay?’

‘Uh, yeah. _Fuck,_ that stings.’ He closes his eyes and slowly breathes in and out a few times.

‘Barry?’ Julian says, his eyes shining with concern.

‘I’m alright. Don’t worry. Healing as we speak.’ He smiles up at Julian. ‘Want to try that again?’

He’s extremely careful now, revealing Barry’s skin inch by inch, and kissing every part that he bares. Barry whimpers softly, dragging his fingers through Julian’s messy hair. He helps Julian to finally take both their shirts off and throw them on the chair next to the bed. Julian’s eyes are glowing with all the feelings he’s kept hidden up until now, and Barry draws him down into another warm kiss. His hands slide down Julian’s sides to settle on his hips. Julian’s gently pressing his shoulders to the bed, then moves his mouth to Barry’s neck. ‘How fast do your hickeys heal?’ Julian asks with a smirk. Barry laughs breathily. ‘Why don’t you try and find out?’

‘Excellent suggestion, Mr Allen.’ He sucks an impressive bruise into the skin of Barry’s throat and watches as the colour fades almost instantly. Julian nods to himself. ‘Interesting. So I can mark you up as much as I like...’ He leans down and bites at Barry’s collarbone, ‘And no one will know but us.’

 

‘Jules!’ Barry chokes out through gritted teeth, his hips jerking up of their own accord to bring his erection in contact with Julian’s. ‘Like that, do you?’ Julian laughs and continues his ministrations on Barry’s collarbone. Desperate to regain some semblance of control, Barry slides his hand over Julian’s chest and pinches a nipple. With a growl, Julian claims his mouth in their most heated kiss yet. He can feel Barry’s hand in the back pocket of his jeans, and he wants, _needs_ to be closer. Barry hooks two fingers into the belt loops of Julian’s trousers, then sighs and withdraws his hands. ‘We, uh. We probably shouldn’t,’ Barry says, sounding like he means they absolutely _should._ ‘Fuck,’ Julian says, pulling away to catch his breath.

‘I’m sorry. I want to, but I’m not fully healed yet and – we should probably be smart.’

‘No, you’re right,’ Julian says, ‘I’m definitely taking you out for dinner first.’

 

Julian settles down next to him, leaning up on an elbow, his eyes glued to the place where he sewed Barry up. He seems lost in thought for a bit, then leans down to drop a soft, almost reverent kiss just above the wound. ‘Julian,’ Barry says softly, pulling him in for a slow kiss, ‘I’m sorry for being such an asshole.’ He can feel Julian’s smile against his lips as he hums in confirmation. ‘It’s fine. I’ll deal with it.’ They kiss again, on and on.

 

‘I could sleep,’ Julian admits a while later.

‘Me too, probably.’ Barry shifts to make room for Julian under the sheets, flinching at a sharp stitch in his abdomen. Julian slips an arm around Barry’s shoulder and pulls him in close. Barry sighs and happily drifts off to sleep.

 

An hour later, Cisco finds Julian and Barry thoroughly entwined, and decides it would be unnecessarily cruel to wake them up. He nearly trips over a stray pawn before closing the door softly behind him.


End file.
